The Journey. It’s Mine. [My personal take on love, life, parenting and blogging.]

My Dearest Raine,

This letter for your 8th birthday comes 2 days in advance. Simply because I won’t have time on the 29th and we aren’t really allowed to have cellphones in our work area at the plant.  I will still try to call you though, most probably at night after I get off from work — if you are still up by then! The only other time I’m free to call you on your birthday would be from 0530 to 0630H, but then for sure only Lola would be up and about to pick up the phone that early.

Raine, we have been through a lot in the last couple of years. The roughest times revolved mostly around me getting sick and getting in and out of the hospital. You witnessed that firsthand because you even had to stay at the hospital too and share the hospital bed with me just because nobody was left in our house to take care of you. With the loving help and support of our friends and family, we overcame that part with flying colors. It is mostly painful looking back but I see those times as blessings in disguise, in every way possible.  You’ll know what I really mean in a few years’ time.

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(written 12/22/10 while inside W’s shuttle bus)

At the shuttle bus stop awhile ago, I was given the rare opportunity to take a quick peek at the beautiful moon. It was still dark at around 0545H, as it usually is in front of W-Mart.

Normally I would complain that the place isn’t a safe bus stop for anybody, much less for a woman commuting alone daily. For some reason the light posts are always busted in that area or maybe they keep the lights off so that bus truck drivers can have some much needed power naps while they park?

But I didn’t mind all that today – not even the stinking smell of pee that drivers litter the place with – simply because the full moon caught my attention. I’ve just never seen one so beautiful.

MSNBC’s Clara Moskowitz wrote:

A blood-red moon hung in the black sky on the darkest night of the year.

This week’s total lunar eclipse was the only one this year and the only one in the last 372 years to coincide with the winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, which marks the longest and darkest night of the year.

And I thought I was good with words. But there were just no words to describe what I witnessed. How I wish I had a camera with me, I suddenly missed the Blackberry I sold last week.

From its white brightness that’s almost luminous, in a span of a few minutes (maybe even seconds), the moon turned opaque white to a slightest tinge of yellow.

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“…and this could be good…it’s already better than that…and nothing’s worse than knowing you’re holding back. i could be all that you needed…if you let me try…”

Rough weekend for you, that’s all. Have a great week ahead Honey! Take it easy. Am just an SMS away. G’night!

Time flies and I’m still technically living in a suitcase. Now I know why God gave me many good friends who are practically family — because this day will come.

The family I’m staying with right now is spending their Christmas vacation in Singapore. They’ll be back after the New Year. Now I have their whole house to myself with a ‘very maasikasong yaya’ to boot. How cooler can things get than that?

Though I found the perfect room for rent (read: decent and affordable), it’s only going to be vacated by February. The current occupant is leaving for a scholarship in Belgium. The said room is currently on-hold for me and the nice lady who owns it used to work with my ex-employer here in LB. It’s certainly great to have old connections still intact.

Got an invitation to spend Christmas with my oldest bestfriend in the whole world and Raine isn’t crying anymore when I talk to him on the phone. Stuff are starting to look up, that’s for certain.

The family I’m staying with at the moment went to Tagaytay for a day’s outing. I was invited to join and as much as I wanted to go, I need to rest and nurse some awful muscle pains. Muscle pains incurred from the Christmas party’s parlor games on Thursday night and from a week’s worth of laundry that I did yesterday. Top that with the daily running-after-buses-and-jeepneys kind of muscle pains.

Not that I’m complaining. This job came at the right time and it’s an opportunity that’s hard to come by, considering my age, the ’shift in career’ and the 4.75 years of not being employed. The daily commute can get too tasking and I’m still physically adjusting to it after years of working-at-home. I’m just grateful that the job doesn’t entail tweaking of industrial bearings. Else, I’d really be in big trouble.

All in all, this new job is both a challenge and an adventure. It’s definitely something that I have blogging to thank for.

Once more, it is the holiday season and we all get caught up in the festivities, the never-ending shopping sprees, the gift-giving and all the material things that we want for Christmas. Amidst the beautiful trees and wreaths, the glistening colorful lights that adorn every home and the numerous parties that need attending to…we often forget the true essence of Christmas and the things that really matter.

It’s not about how beautiful your Christmas tree is this year, it is more about the loveliness of the hearts of the persons that put up and adorned that tree. It’s not about who’s got the brightest, most colorful and high-tech Christmas lights in the neigborhood, but it is more about whether you have ever shed light over those that are groping in the dark.

It is certainly not about the parties, the food and the gifts but it is more about essential things that feed the spirit, warms the heart and lifts the soul.  

What matters the most is that you have a loving family to come home to every night. In case you live away from them, you get huge consolation in the fact that they are just a phone call, a text message or an FB status away. I never thought that short lines such as “Pauwi ka na siguro…ingat. I love you.” , “Sleep well now, work bukas. I love you.” and “Mama I miss you, I love you.” could mean so much before now.

So much that I feel a whole lot richer than the 740-M lotto winner.

It’s a good thing we need to change into plant uniforms at the plant. Too much accessories, even something as cheap as Cubic Zirconia aren’t allowed inside.

Well I brought only a bag of clothes and other personal stuff with me that’s good for a week. All my other stuff are yet to arrive, that will all depend on when I can get my own place around here.

Christmas-related merryments have started in the workplace and I’m truly glad that I joined my new group’s Christmas party the other night. I needed that, despite the personal constraints I’m in right now. Constraints such as being away from my own family and some budget constraints that keep me from being totally merry for the holiday seasons. Not that money is the sole reason to be merry this Christmas, but you know what I mean.

I miss Raine a LOT. That alone is an understatement. But at this point in time, first things come first. And my top priority right now is getting my groove back at the workplace and finding the right spot for me under the sun. After that, all other things will fall into their right spots.

As much as I wanted to reside in LB once more, I’ll just have to settle for Calamba this time - to save on fare and lessen the stress of the daily commute. Well I guess I’ve been hiding inside the confines of my W-A-H hole for too long that I need personalized stress balls to handle the toll that too crowded ‘crossings’ are giving me these days.

Has it been that long or are there just too many people on the road these days? I feel like the numbers turned 5-folds since the time I’ve been commuting in these areas. And I thought my sleepy, provincial city is crowded already! No permanent address just yet, but at least I have established my morning routine already. Baby steps for now, we all make it somehow.

…time to rest.

Rest while doing the laundry.

Rest while blogging.

At least those activities keep me from missing Raine more.

Now that it’s been a week, I can comfortably talk about it. I’m back in LB and I’ve started on a new day job. It’s a project-based (documentation and writing) gig for a pharmaceutical and nutritional goods manufacturing plant nearby. At first I thought I can still blog at night. But now it looks like I can only do so on weekends.

My first week was both fun and funny. Fun because I’m working with a bunch of young, hardworking and happy folks. Funny because I realized I’m too old to run after buses and jeepneys. Well i”ve been working at home for more than four yeas and so my legs and knees are ‘complaining’ about the daily commute. Oh alright, I’m not as young as I used to be, that I admit! He he

Anyways, it’s my first weekend off and so it’s back to health blogging, htc desire reviews and all that stuff that I do online.