The Journey. It’s Mine. [My personal take on love, life, parenting and blogging.]

So much to blog about but doesn’t have the time nor the energy to blog about it. Every blogger knows the exact feeling. Also I think it is borderline to losing that blogging groove.

Anyway, I’m still crunching that job at W and that explains mostly why my brain is switched to the direction opposite blogging. Though there’s FB to keep me updated with what’s going on within my circle of friends and vice versa, I still feel that visiting blogs is more fun and personal. It actually saddens me that when I blog hop these days, most blogger friends aren’t updating as often as they used to. They’ve caught the FB bug as well.

‘Been alone here since the New Year. A was here for 10 months in 2011 but went back down South for another gig. Then my family came for the holidays and it was just heartwarming after not seeing most of them for a year. It was heart-filling spending time with them and most of all with Raine. It was just kinda bitin. The holiday season went by so fast. Then it was time to get back to regular work mode again.

It’s both weird and sad being alone. Quiet yes, peaceful at times. A lot of ME times, yes. But it’s just lacking. I guess I am not used to it anymore.

Tomorrow is Chinese New Year and it’s a holiday now. Imagine that?! Well I’m just grateful for the additional rest day after a really hectic week. Nothing more.

Recently I moved into a new unit in my apartment building. Though still on the same floor,I have a lot better view and I’m actually facing Mount Makiling this time. In the afternoons, I can have a good taste of the much coveted sunshine — which do not work too well when I’m in front of my computer monitor. But then I’m not here at daytime most days of the week, so I’m not really complaining.

Accidentally, I was forced to spend a four-day weekend here because conjunctivitis got the better of me. Then it rained today and for the first time in weeks I can actually feel some real December chill. Hooray!

Wow…it has been a year on the day job. Which also means I have not done any real blogging in that span of time. These days I just resort to Facebook to get updated with online friends. Imagine that?! I do miss blogging a lot of course, but I just had to do what I gotta do, right?

Well…tomorrow is another day and I have to get up 15 minutes earlier than usual because shuttle bus schedules recently got adjusted.

New alarm setting? Check!

Let’s just hope that my internal clock adjusts to it as well.

Good night everyone.

Where did the time go? The ber-months are here…soon Christmas will just be ’round the corner.

So I’ve been busy with the day job and my new life out here. There was just no extra time to blog and my weekends have been dedicated for resting and recharging. We all need to do that, I suppose…

Two more months to go and I’ll be here a year already, time indeed flies. Despite the highs and lows of the last ten months, definitely there was not a minute spent in vain. Despite the constant homesickness and all the other crazy stuff around, it will be all worth it in the end I guess. It just has to be…;-)

Well I just really wish there’ll be another long weekend soon. But there’ll be none, at least not until the Christmas holidays. In that case, I wish the next 3 months will just fly a lot faster than usual. Haha!

A arrived in LB 2 months ago. First of all to visit me and second of all to fix a problematic database system at W. He’s been working at home most of the time to do that though, as opposed to me working on-Site on a daily basis. Fortunately I work regular shifts and get Saturdays and Sundays off. But then sometimes weekends aren’t enough to recharge and unwind. I’m still under treatment for my thyroid problem and and so I naturally get tired easily than normal.

Moreover, the anti-thyroid agent I’m taking lowers my immunity making me more prone to infections than the average person. Still I try to counter that by taking vitamins religiously, eating right and getting enough rest and sleep the best way I can. However, some stuff do get me down sometimes, like recently I had the flu and this week a nasty cough has been brewing — making me spend this Sunday in bed with lots of fluid intake and yes, enough cough medicine that made me groggy the whole day.

I’ve been meaning to blog and maybe do some accutane reviews. But it has always been a case of ‘the spirit is willing but the body just isn’t stepping up to it’.

Anyways, A went to Manila early this morning to attend to some personal business. It’s past 530 pm and realized I haven’t eaten a decent meal yet. Oh well, time to get out of this box of an apartment and go get myself an all-in-one-lunch-and-dinner (and that much-needed pedicure that kept getting postponed for weeks!).

Four months of separation with Raine certainly felt like 4 years, I kid you not. This weekend however, we were both given the rare opportunity to spend a long weekend together. I got the Monday off from work (and half of Friday actually!) so Raine and I could have this much-deserved long weekend together.

Nothing fancy but I certainly cannot wait any longer for the looming holy week vacation to see him. This was the best time anyway, just before his summer class starts.

3 days and 3 nights is not that long I know, but we just have to make every second count.

Home before dusk for a change. Long day went too fast, too many things went on  — some of them a blur to me at the moment. Sort of difficult in some ways but mostly challenging days and stuff ahead of me, that’s for sure.

Who knows what really lies ahead? I’m done projecting and worrying about things that aren’t here yet. Old cliche, yes. But at the moment I take each day as it comes. And when it’s over I don’t over-analyze it anymore. What’s done is done. And the moments that passed? I won’t have a way of taking any of it back.

So I do my best to start clean each morning when I get up. No yesterdays. No tomorrows either. Enjoy each moment while you still can. The one you hugged today could be gone tomorrow. Nobody knows really. After all, each day could be your last too.

The ultimate rejuvination regimen:

Food? Check. Laundry done? Check. Afternoon nap? Check. ‘Imported labandero’? Check. Internet connection? Check.

Was hoping I can go back to regular blogging mode this weekend, but sleeping and resting got the better of me. Earlier today, I bought food that will last ’til Sunday. Now I can spend the rest of the weekend in total recluse.

I just realized that if you are commuting daily like me, the road (read: all the too many people and the vehicles on it) and the outside world in general can really get stressful. In fact, stressful compared to the actual work that you do in the office.

No wonder I’d rather stay inside my little apartment on weekends. And now that I am connected at home? I have an excuse to forget the outside world and relax on cyberspace instead.

My Dearest Raine,

This letter for your 8th birthday comes 2 days in advance. Simply because I won’t have time on the 29th and we aren’t really allowed to have cellphones in our work area at the plant.  I will still try to call you though, most probably at night after I get off from work — if you are still up by then! The only other time I’m free to call you on your birthday would be from 0530 to 0630H, but then for sure only Lola would be up and about to pick up the phone that early.

Raine, we have been through a lot in the last couple of years. The roughest times revolved mostly around me getting sick and getting in and out of the hospital. You witnessed that firsthand because you even had to stay at the hospital too and share the hospital bed with me just because nobody was left in our house to take care of you. With the loving help and support of our friends and family, we overcame that part with flying colors. It is mostly painful looking back but I see those times as blessings in disguise, in every way possible.  You’ll know what I really mean in a few years’ time.

(more…)

(written 12/22/10 while inside W’s shuttle bus)

At the shuttle bus stop awhile ago, I was given the rare opportunity to take a quick peek at the beautiful moon. It was still dark at around 0545H, as it usually is in front of W-Mart.

Normally I would complain that the place isn’t a safe bus stop for anybody, much less for a woman commuting alone daily. For some reason the light posts are always busted in that area or maybe they keep the lights off so that bus truck drivers can have some much needed power naps while they park?

But I didn’t mind all that today – not even the stinking smell of pee that drivers litter the place with – simply because the full moon caught my attention. I’ve just never seen one so beautiful.

MSNBC’s Clara Moskowitz wrote:

A blood-red moon hung in the black sky on the darkest night of the year.

This week’s total lunar eclipse was the only one this year and the only one in the last 372 years to coincide with the winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, which marks the longest and darkest night of the year.

And I thought I was good with words. But there were just no words to describe what I witnessed. How I wish I had a camera with me, I suddenly missed the Blackberry I sold last week.

From its white brightness that’s almost luminous, in a span of a few minutes (maybe even seconds), the moon turned opaque white to a slightest tinge of yellow.

(more…)

“…and this could be good…it’s already better than that…and nothing’s worse than knowing you’re holding back. i could be all that you needed…if you let me try…”

Rough weekend for you, that’s all. Have a great week ahead Honey! Take it easy. Am just an SMS away. G’night!

Once more, it is the holiday season and we all get caught up in the festivities, the never-ending shopping sprees, the gift-giving and all the material things that we want for Christmas. Amidst the beautiful trees and wreaths, the glistening colorful lights that adorn every home and the numerous parties that need attending to…we often forget the true essence of Christmas and the things that really matter.

It’s not about how beautiful your Christmas tree is this year, it is more about the loveliness of the hearts of the persons that put up and adorned that tree. It’s not about who’s got the brightest, most colorful and high-tech Christmas lights in the neigborhood, but it is more about whether you have ever shed light over those that are groping in the dark.

It is certainly not about the parties, the food and the gifts but it is more about essential things that feed the spirit, warms the heart and lifts the soul.  

What matters the most is that you have a loving family to come home to every night. In case you live away from them, you get huge consolation in the fact that they are just a phone call, a text message or an FB status away. I never thought that short lines such as “Pauwi ka na siguro…ingat. I love you.” , “Sleep well now, work bukas. I love you.” and “Mama I miss you, I love you.” could mean so much before now.

So much that I feel a whole lot richer than the 740-M lotto winner.

…time to rest.

Rest while doing the laundry.

Rest while blogging.

At least those activities keep me from missing Raine more.